Throughout history, humans have been known to use mind altering substances. Whether it's opium in Europe, cannabis in China, peyote in North America, evidence of human drug use goes back to 10,000 BC. Many scientists also believe in the Stoned Ape Theory, suggesting that human intelligence was increased exponentially with the use of psychedelic mushrooms as a catalyst. As we continued to learn more about these substances though, we began to realize that we might not be the only species that deliberately partakes in the wondrous world of drugs…
Caribou
Caribou, or Reindeer in Siberia have been documented eating the Aminita muscaria mushroom, a bright red fungus that is known to have potent psychedelic effects. When Rudolf and his buddies consume these mushrooms, they have been seen acting drunk and making strange noises, possibly tripping so hard they visualize themselves flying over the winter wonderland to deliver gifts to good children of society. In the past, shamans in Siberia were known to deliver these bright red mushrooms as gifts to town people around Christmas time, which may have led to some stories of flying reindeer and a fat bearded man delivering presents to the townspeople.
Dolphins
Dolphins are known for their intelligence. Like humans, they communicate with each other in social groups and meticulously plan hunting strategies with each other learning from their mistakes each time. In addition to their intelligence, dolphins love to have fun; surfing the waves, flipping through the air, and passing around a tetrodotoxic puffer fish. Scientists believe that the toxic fish provides the dolphins with a neurological high. A life of constant hunting and protecting humans from sharks is taxing, a good hit from a local pufferfish will take the edge right off.
Elephants
With complex social structures, intelligent thinking and a strong memory, the largest land animal on the planet has discovered the wonders of alcohol. Elephants have been known to break into small villages and drink their fill of alcoholic beverages only to get too drunk and destroy the village. Unfortunately, Elephants don’t have a reputation for being lovey dovey drunks, stories of rampaging intoxicated elephants go back thousands of years, one elephant even being calmed by the Buddha.
Bighorn Sheep
With their expert rock climbing skills, bighorn sheep climb sheer mountain cliffs to find food, escape predators, and apparently, get wicked high. These large mountain sheep climb to altitudes high above the tree line to find lichen that takes them above the clouds, literally and figuratively. The sheep are so fiendish to this lichen, they have been known to grind their teeth down to the gums in order to scrape every last bit of narcotic plant material off of the rock.
Jaguars
We all know how our pet cats go absolutely insane over some catnip, but this large jungle cat has some more hardcore substances in his stash than Garfield and Tom. In the big cats native home in South America, a plant called the Banisteriopsis caapi grows abundantly, mostly known for being a main ingredient in the trip inducing tea, ayahuasca, caapi cannot get humans high by itself, but Jaguars can skip the tea making and eat the plant strait out of the ground for heightened senses and hallucinations.
Capuchin Monkeys
Not too far down the ape family tree, Capuchin monkeys are altering their brain chemistry just like their hairless cousins. These intelligent little creatures use the defensive excrement of a millipede as a sort of bug spray to ward off parasitic insects and in the process the monkeys get extremely intoxicated. The liquid from the millipede glands is a mix of toxic chemicals including cyanide, which is extremely deadly, so monkeys really have to be careful not to overdose. Capuchins aren’t alone in their discovery of the many uses of millipede poison, lemurs in Madagascar have been documented using the same techniques to ward off insects and get high!
Horses
These fantastic beasts have spent thousands of years hauling humans and their shit around, so of course they search the fields for something to take the edge off. Just like humans and tobacco, horses all around the world consume locoweed. This plant, like tobacco, keeps the horses and other livestock coming back for more, all while slowly killing them. Locoweed can cause depression, nervous and antisocial behavior, abnormal violence, problems with reproduction, and many other physical and neurological side effects. If your horse is having trouble with addiction, send them to rehab as soon as possible.
Bees
After a long days’ work of collecting pollen for your community, a bee wants nothing more than to come home and sit on the couch with a cold beer. Bees are well known alcoholics in the animal kingdom, by consuming fermented fruit, bees will start to feel a different kind of buzz than normal. A drunk bee will have problems with its motor functions causing accidents in the sky and possibly forgetting their way home. The drunks that do make it back to the hive are quickly kicked out by sober bees because the drunk bastards are seen as a danger to the hive.
Wallabies
In 2009, the Tasmanian people were experiencing a small problem in their poppy fields. The food became scarce for wallabies so they ventured off only to find a nice big field of poppy pants. The small marsupials would eat the intoxicating heads of the opium producing plant and trip balls, running in circles until they pass out.
Red-collared Lorikeets
Between November and May during Australia’s wet season, you may notice some birds falling off their perches and stumbling around. The over-ripened fruit that the birds eat from the ground toward the end of the season causes the birds to become intoxicated. Many birds get too drunk in public and are thrown in the drunk tank to be treated back to health. The treated birds wake up with symptoms very similar to a hangover in the morning and are sent on their way vowing to “never drink again”, only to come back next year to do the exact same thing.
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